Friends, Here is the latest version of Chapter 5. It was formerly called "Harmonization in the microcosm", and later "Achieving harmonization and wisdom in groups". This material has changed substantially, based on feedback from Rosa Zubizarreta, Tree Bresson, Tom Atlee, and others. Because of its length, I'm posting it in two parts. rkm -------------------------------------------------------- draft version 3.10 Chapter 5 THE POWER OF DIALOG * Meeting dynamics: collaborative & adversarial Consider for a moment the many kinds of meetings that occur in our society. In business meetings are held regularly to make plans and coordinate people's activities. If parents feel that their children need a crossing guard on the way to school, then they organize a neighborhood meeting. When a country decides to go to war, that decision is made in some meeting among high-level officials. In government one wonders if they do anything but go to meetings, whether they be official government sessions, or meetings with staff, colleagues, lobbyists, backers, or constituents. If people want to start a political movement, they begin by organizing meetings. The American Revolution was born in New England pubs, where the rebellion-minded held meetings and plotted against the King, inspired by the local brew. Although many of us have negative feelings about meetings, and about their effectiveness, the fact is that meetings are the place where people generally make joint plans and reach group decisions. Some of these meetings are collaborative, and some are adversarial. We are all familiar with both kinds. A typical example of a collaborative meeting would be the neighborhood gathering mentioned above, where the parents would like to see a crossing guard assigned to a dangerous local intersection. The people have a common goal, and they work together cooperatively to achieve it. People offer suggestions for actions that can be taken, the suggestions are discussed, and people volunteer to help with the actions that are agreed to. If the meeting is successful, everyone comes away better off -- the concept of winners and losers is irrelevant to a collaborative meeting. A typical example of an adversarial meeting would be a city council session where a controversial development project is being discussed. The developers and business community are showing slides of beautiful landscaped buildings and talking of new jobs, while neighborhood protesters are complaining about increased traffic and the loss of a children's playground. The typical outcome of such a meeting is that one side wins and the other loses. Either the development project goes ahead, and the neighborhood suffers, or else the project is rejected and the investors may suffer considerable losses. It is very unusual for anything creative to happen at an adversarial meeting. People, or factions, come in with agendas to promote -- agendas that were created somewhere else. If the meeting is unable to resolve an issue, it is typically deferred -- and people are expected to go off somewhere else and create revised proposals. The somewhere else -- where the creative activity of planning occurs -- is generally a meeting of the collaborative variety. In our city council example, the developers and promoters have been meeting collaboratively for months preparing their project plans and their city-council presentation. Similarly, the neighborhood protestors have held collaborative meetings to assess their feelings and to decide how best to express their concerns to the city council. The adversarial meeting -- -- the official decision making meeting -- is not a discussion session, but is rather a battle of strength between the two opposing sides: Which side can muster the most support among the city council members? Which side can spout the most convincing rhetoric, painting its own proposals in the colors of the common good? Parliamentary sessions in liberal "democracies" are based on the adversarial meeting model. A chairman governs the proceedings, proposals can be introduced, time is allowed for debate, and a majority vote decides each question. The "debate" is typically rhetorical, for public consumption, and seldom affects the outcome of the vote. This is not a system designed to solve problems or to encourage useful discussion --- it is a system designed to efficiently measure the relative power of opposing factions, and to promptly assign the rewards to the strongest. Just as the floor of the stock market is designed to efficiently manage the investment transactions of the wealthy elite, so is the floor of the parliament designed to efficiently referee power transactions among elite factions. A collaborative meeting operates according to collaborative dynamics, and an adversarial meeting operates according to adversarial dynamics. Collaborative dynamics are about people gathering around an agreed objectives, identifying means to achieve them, and planning how to pursue that agenda. Within collaborative dynamics people have an incentive to listen to one another's suggestions, and in the planning process the group typically converges toward a consensus perspective on the task at hand. Adversarial dynamics are about people debating from their fixed perspectives in an attempt to prevail over the other side. There is little incentive to listen to the other side, apart from looking for weaknesses that can be exploited. Each side may attempt to shift the perspective of the other side, but neither side has any intention of shifting its own perspective. Whereas people learn useful things about their shared problems within collaborative dynamics, the only thing learned within adversarial dynamics is how to better combat the other side. Collaborative dynamics tend to avoid internal divisiveness when it arises, while adversarial dynamics tend to reinforce and encourage divisiveness among factions. *A gap in our cultural repertoire These two meeting models are very common in our society, and indeed they are more or less the extent of our general cultural repertoire. We know how to get together with our allies and make plans to promote our shared interests, and we know how to fight for our side in an adversarial gathering, according to whatever rules are in play. What we don't know much about, and don't have many cultural models for, is how to resolve differences within a group of people. We don't know how to engage in productive dialog within a group of people who express conflicting interests. In an adversarial meeting the differences are accepted as a given, as a fixed quantity, and the business of the meeting is to enable the different factions to battle it out until a winner can be chosen. There is no attempt to resolve the differences: people go away with their perspectives unchanged, and the same factions retire to prepare for their next engagement. When people come into a collaborative meeting, they come in with the knowledge that they are bound by common interests to the other participants. Indeed, the people come together in order to collaborate in advancing those common interests. In order to get on with it and make progress, participants tend to avoid bringing up internal differences in such meetings. At such a meeting a good leader will be skillful at defusing differences, articulating compromises, and keeping the meeting on track. Minority factions within the group are encouraged to stifle their divisive concerns, and join the majority in a consensus that will advance the identified common interests of the group. And in the competition between different factions, success tends to go to those that are best able to submerge their internal differences, focus on their primary interests, and adopt decisive action plans. Under neither dynamics is there an attempt to engage in constructive dialog regarding the differences in the group. Under adversarial dynamics there is dialog over differences -- -- but it is the dialog of power, expressed in the language of influence and votes. Under collaborative dynamics, discussion of differences is avoided, so that the group can focus on their identified common interests and get on with their primary business. In the one case difference are expressed competitively and are reinforced, and in the other case differences are suppressed. In neither case are differences resolved. This gap in our cultural repertoire creates a problem for popular initiatives, particularly in a society that is already split by factionalism. Indeed, the gap can lead to difficulties whenever people attempt to work together. Here's an example I observed on a recent visit to the San Francisco Bay Area. The population there is relatively progressive, and there is widespread support for an increased focus on public transport. But instead of people getting together and coming up with a common proposal, people soon divided themselves into two camps. One camp wanted to expand the conventional rail network, while another wanted to expand the rapid-transit system. Most of the available activist energy was then devoted to a struggle between these two camps. As I read over the positions of the two camps, as an outside observer, it seemed obvious to me that the best of the ideas could be usefully combined into a cost-effective hybrid proposal. The real solution, it seemed, would be to make strategic interconnecting links and upgrades, and coordinate schedules -- across all available transport systems -- rather than promoting one kind of transport to the exclusion of another. Of course my own arm-chair proposal probably didn't take everything into account, but the main point remains: the two camps were struggling over their differences rather than trying to resolve them -- and missed any opportunity to find synergy in some creative middle ground. The collaborative meeting model could not serve the two camps, because neither side was willing to stifle its ideas -- so the activists adopted the only other available cultural model: adversarial engagement. As a consequence of this split in popular activism, the transport planning decisions will most likely be made by speculative developers and their politician cronies, and whatever they decide they will be able to claim their decision has "public support." Most of us consider public meetings to be a waste of time, particularly when they attempt to deal with issues that are complex or controversial. This is because we have prior experience with the dynamics that are likely to occur. First there will be an attempt to reach a rapid consensus, most likely proposed by those calling the meeting. Then someone in the back stands up and disagrees, voicing some objection. That sparks other suggestions and objections. The meeting threatens to get out of control -- to revert to adversarial dynamics. The organizers attempt to bring the dynamics back into collaboration. If they succeed, then some of the participants go away feeling their interests have been betrayed; if they fail, then everyone goes away with the feeling that yet another meeting has been a waste of time. Because of these circumstances, anyone with a motivation to pursue political activism soon learns to flock with birds of the same feather. Environmentalists flock under a green banner, animal rights activists follow their drummer, other groups rally around their opposition to corporate power, or their stance in favor of or against abortion rights, etc. In order to get anything done, collaborative dynamics are required, and gathering together in interest groups seems to be the natural thing to do. Those gathering together already agree on what's important, and they are thus able -- depending on their organizational ability -- to get on with a program, rather than wasting time debating the priority of different issues. In this way the energy of popular initiatives gets sucked into the game of adversarial factionalism -- a game whose rules are set down by elites for their own advantage. Just as in Las Vegas or Wall Street, this is a game where the house always wins in the end. Did you exchange a walk-on part in a war for a leading role in a cage? -- Roger Waters, Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here If we want to overcome factionalism in the macrocosm, at the level of society, we must first learn how to overcome differences in the microcosm -- where people meet face to face. We need to extend our cultural repertoire to include gatherings of a third kind, where people neither compete to win or lose, nor submerge their differences in order to reach a shallow consensus. We need a third dynamics, a dynamics of harmonization, a dynamics that encourages us to express our concerns fully, and which enables us to work together creatively with that information -- to find ways forward that benefit everyone involved. If our cultural repertoire can be extended in this way, in the microcosm, then we may find that there are new ways of working together on a larger scale as well -- ways that avoid the quicksand of adversarial politics. * The space of harmonization Back in the 1980s I was working in a well-known Silicon Valley computer company. I was looking into the potential of some new technologies, and in that role I worked with people in the research groups as well as those in the engineering groups. I didn't consider myself any kind of expert on meetings, but I certainly spent a lot of time in them. One afternoon I received a phone call from one of the researchers, with some urgency in his voice, saying that I was needed in a particular meeting. I was a bit surprised at the invitation because the people involved were not working in the area I was investigating. I didn't know what they expected from me, but I was willing to attend and find out what was going on. When everyone had gathered, I simply asked, "What's the problem, gentlemen?" It turns out that a fracas had developed between the researchers and the engineers. The engineers had made a decision regarding a new product, and the researchers felt their own relevant results had been ignored. The decision itself was not challenged, but the manner in which it had been made -- without consultation between the groups. If the decision had been in an area I knew something about, I probably would have jumped in at a technical level, getting into the pros and cons of the decision. But as I was not knowledgeable of the technical issues -- fortunately as it turns out -- I had to take a different role in the meeting. I asked each of the groups to explain what the problem was, from their point of view. After a few follow-up questions I began to get the picture. As an outside observer, I could see that the problem boiled down to one of trust between the groups. The engineers felt that the research group did not trust them to make their own decisions, and the researchers felt the engineering group didn't trust the relevance of the research efforts. As I knew and respected both groups of people, I had a feeling that the trust issue was really a matter of misunderstanding. Without any training in conflict resolution or group process, I decided to follow my intuition. I first asked the engineers to explain what they expected from the research group. Then I asked the researchers to explain what they thought the relationship between research and engineering should be. I didn't express an opinion myself on either of these questions, but simply listened to what was said. As I had suspected, there really wasn't any conflict between the views of the two groups -- and because the two groups had now been able to hear one another, the problem evaporated and trust was restored. It had all been so simple, and happened so naturally, that I felt my presence at the meeting had been unnecessary. I was quite surprised the next day to receive a copy of a memo addressed to my boss, praising my role at the meeting! I was puzzledŠI felt that I hadn't done anything -- except to listen. It wasn't until about 20 years later that I finally understood what had happened at that meeting. The way I came to understand was by being in another meeting, only this time I was the one who was involved in a fracas. It was a meeting I had called, and my goal was to get through a certain agenda with those I had invited. They were political activists from the Berkeley area, and my agenda involved reaching consensus on a new direction for effective activism. For the first couple hours, the meeting (of the collaborative variety) seemed to be going "on track." We had flip charts with points of agreement and I was quite happy with our progress. Then a fellow raised his hand with a complaint. He didn't like the way we were spending our time and felt I was over-controlling the meeting. I thought he was being disruptive and I told him I wanted to continue "making progress." He didn't want to accept this and, in a momentary lapse of reason, I suggested that he go off and organize his own meeting. As soon as I said this I knew it was a mistake; I could feel the "bad vibes" I had created in the room. There was a seemingly endless moment of embarrassing silence; I wished I were somewhere else. A woman then spoke up and asked if I'd mind if she tried a bit of facilitation. Relieved to see the focus of attention shift away from myself, I readily agreed to her offer -- not knowing what "facilitation" was or how it could help. What she did was very simple. She asked the other fellow what he was expecting from the meeting and then she asked me the same thing. She was playing the same role I had played in that other meeting 20 years before! She was asking the obvious questions that needed to be asked, and then simply listening to what we had to say. The result was also similar -- once the other fellow and I really heard what each other had to say, the conflict disappeared. He understood my concern about making progress; I understood that from his point of view we were not making progress at all -- and we both respected each other's concerns as being valid and relevant. After this, everyone began sharing their reasons for coming to the gathering, and I could feel an increased energy level in the room. Everyone had become more present, as if a black-and-white movie had suddenly burst into color. I could see in retrospect that our earlier discussion had been shallow and one-dimensional. Unfortunately we had run out of time, for I believe with our greater "presence" we could have had a very creative and fruitful conversation about activism and strategies. The space had been opened up to share our diverse experiences, and learn from one another. The earlier emphasis on agenda had severely narrowed our channel of communication. In each of these two meetings, a breakthrough occurred when a certain kind of hearing happened. What we hear depends on what we are listening for. If we are in an argument (i.e., an adversarial meeting) then we on guard for attacks and defenses, and that is what we will hear when someone makes a statement. If we are pursuing an agenda together (i.e., a collaborative meeting) then we are hoping for agreement and progress, and we will evaluate whatever we hear in those terms. In both of our meetings, the intervention of the facilitators caused the people to shift what they were listening for. When I asked the engineers what they expected from the research group, that shifted attention away from the current decision under debate. Instead of listening for an attack or defense, the researchers were encouraged to listen in terms of, "Who are these people and how do they see things?" Attention shifted from ideas and issues to people. The same thing happened in the Berkeley gathering. By asking the fellow, "What are you expecting from this meeting?," the facilitator enabled me to hear who the fellow was, and what his concern was, rather than hearing only a disruption to my agenda. Ideas as such can be good or bad, valid or invalid, but a person is always valid, and so are their concerns, as concerns. When we are listening in terms of issues, and we dismiss a comment, we are also dismissing that person's concern as being invalid, and to some extent we are dismissing and disrespecting the person. When we listen in terms of people -- one human to another -- then we can accept all contributions as being valid concerns, even if we happen to think that the person may be confused about some issues. And after all, who isn't confused about some issues? None of us is all knowing. And when we accept someone's concern, we are also accepting and respecting that person. The breakthroughs that happened at the Berkeley meeting were particularly significant for me, because I have always been rather competitive and intellectual in my approach to things. Even in social situations, I would typically seek out people with interesting ideas, rather than interesting people, as such. And I, like many others, would typically be thinking about what I'm going to say next, rather than listening to what the current speaker is saying. And in business meetings, everything would always be evaluated relative-to-agenda. It was a new experience for me to actually be present and listening, aware of being in communication with fellow humans, rather than casting myself in some role or another, and imposing some one-dimensional evaluation filter on people's contributions. For me this was a new kind of communication space, a three-dimensional space occupied by people rather than a one-dimensional space occupied by concepts and ideas. I refer to this as the "space of harmonization" because in such a space it becomes possible to harmonize the concerns and needs of the people who are participating. Once we accept everyone as being an equally valid, caring human being, then each person's concerns become everyone's concerns. To ignore someone's concerns would be cast that person out in the cold, and you don't do that to a fellow human being. When this space of harmonization is entered, then the attention of the group naturally turns to the question, "How can we find solutions and answers that take all of our concerns into account?" This shift in attention releases creative, cooperative energy that was previously being spent in debate, or was being constrained by some agenda. I felt this upsurge of energy in the Berkeley meeting, but in that case we didn't have time left to see where that energy might have been able to take us. It turns out that the creative and cooperative energy of a group, when released in such way, can be a very powerful thing, enabling the group in many cases to find breakthrough solutions to seemingly impossible problems -- solutions which at the same time take everyone's concerns into account. Not every meeting needs to take place in a space of harmonization. In a typical business meeting, for example, it may be quite appropriate to stick to an agenda and avoid time-consuming diversions. However in the context of our broader investigation, the space of harmonization seems to be exactly what we're looking for. Recall the statement I offered earlier, expressing what I see as our harmonization imperative: If We the People are to respond effectively to our transformational imperative -- to save the world and humanity from this crisis -- we need first to actualize our common identity as We the People. We need to learn to see one another as human beings rather than as us and them. We need to learn how to harmonize our deep common interests instead of accentuating our superficial differences. In order to respond to our transformational imperative, we must first respond to this harmonization imperative. In the two examples of meetings above, we stumbled into a situation where communication had broken down, and fortunately there was someone on hand in each case to offer a bit of useful intervention, as a facilitator. In neither case was there time available to do very much with the creative energy that was released. We entered the space of harmonization but didn't do much with it once we had entered. Let us now turn our attention to a gathering in which the space of harmonization was longer lasting -- where the released energy of the group could be applied to shared problems, leading to surprising outcomes and breakthroughs in mutual understanding. In June, 2004, twenty four diverse "opinion leaders" were invited to a conference in Michigan which had the following stated purpose: The purpose of this gathering is to [initiate] a new kind of public conversation that moves us beyond polarization so we [can] effectively address the issues we care most about . . . .* The participants were from all across the political spectrum, including a former FBI agent, the National Field Director of the Christian Coalition, a founding member of the National Congress of Black Women, a board member of the National Rifle Association, the president of a left-leaning legal-issues organization, former Weather Underground supporters, and former speakers at white racist gatherings. Clearly, the people who set up this conference share my views regarding the political importance of harmonization, and the necessity of overcoming factionalism. And they set themselves quite a challenge by bringing in such radically diverse participants. They jumped directly into the lion's den: if they could achieve a space of harmonization here, they would demonstrate that harmonization is possible with almost any group of people. From such a radically diverse conference one might expect fistfights and shouting matches to emerge, rather than any kind of agreement or consensus. Tom Atlee, who was a participant, expressed his misgivings prior to the gathering this way: Using Google, I researched the people who were coming to the conversation. I read articles by the conservatives and listened to their radio talk shows -- and I got triggered by what they said. I reacted with anger, frustration and rejection of who they were. I thought silent counter arguments and felt the rise of adrenaline. Friends warned me to be careful -- or couldn't even imagine going to talk with such people.* Mark Satin, another participant, wrote an article* reporting on the conference; he describes the first evening's activities this way: On Friday night, we broke into three groups (of eight participants and one facilitator each) to discuss such questions as, "What did you understand about being an American when you were 12 years old? How have you experienced political differences and how did that affect you personally?" It was impossible to participate in that exercise without coming to see (and feel and know) that every participant, whatever their politics, was a complex and caring human being. We can see here that from the very beginning the facilitators focused attention on people and their experiences, and we can see that a space of harmonization was reached early on. Regarding an afternoon's conversation later in the conference, Mark reports: Someone tried to classify participants' approaches as "left" or "right." Someone on the right took umbrage with that, feeling that the qualities cited as "right" were insulting stereotypes; and that pressed many people's buttons; and round and round and round we went, and the afternoon shadows grew longer. But the end result of that conversation is we all realized -- -- I mean, we all really "got" -- how misleading and even infantilizing the old political spectrum had become. Here we can see the space of harmonization expanding, as people dig deeper and pull out more of their concerns. Not only are they accepting and respecting one another's contributions, but also they are beginning to understand the futility of labels and factions in general. This expansion continues in a later session: In another exercise, the participants were asked to tell about each of the key decisions they'd made in their political lives: Everyone stared, some of us open-mouthed, as various "left"-wingers and "right"-wingers, former Weather Underground supporters and former speakers at white racist gatherings, shared the incidents that shaped their lives. And revealed without even trying that every caring person is a brother or sister under the skin. And that our values are at some deep level fundamentally the same. ...for the first time in many years, I feel enthusiastic enough about an incipient political movement to want to put my shoulder to the wheel. At the end of the conference the group came up with a remarkable declaration: Before leaving, we all signed our names to a document titled "We the People." Many of us signed with flourishes, as if we were signing something akin to the Declaration of Independence. Here are the key passages: "We respect our differences and recognize America needs every one of our viewpoints, ideas, and passions -- even those we don't agree with -- to keep our democracy vital and alive; "We recognize that meeting here and across our land for dialogues across differences builds trust, understanding, respect, and empowerment -- the conditions necessary for freedom and democracy to live in us and around us; "And, therefore, each still grounded in our own considered views (conscience and convictions), we commit ourselves and our communities of interest to foster dialogue across the many divides in America, in large and small groups, to build trust, insight, and inspired action toward the more perfect union we all desire." In this Michigan conference we can see examples of the kind of breakthroughs that can occur when a space of harmonization is maintained for an extended period. This diverse group of people, with radically different viewpoints, actually achieved a sense of solidarity and community, which they expressed in this "We the People" declaration. And this was not simply an intellectual experience for the participants; there is an obvious passion and commitment in the language of their declaration. They could see from their own microcosm experience that harmonization could help eliminate factionalism in the microcosm of the larger society. And they understood that the process is about trust and dialog, not about any particular platform or program. Consensus does not mean agreement. It means we create a forum where all voices can be heard and we can think creatively rather than dualistically about how to reconcile our different needs and visions. -- Starhawk, Lessons from Seattle and Washington D.C., from Democratizing the Global Economy, Kevin Danaher, ed., Common Courage Press, Monroe, Maine, 2001. Let us move on and consider another example of a facilitated conference that has produced promising results in terms of harmonization. Here's how the event is described on the website of Tom Atlee's Co-Intelligence Institute: In 1991 the leading Canadian newsweekly, Maclean's, sponsored a dialogue about the future of Canada among twelve ordinary Canadians carefully selected for their differences. They were nurses, lawyers, teachers, musicians, company workers. They were White, Black, Native, male, female, from across Canada. Right from the start, they were passionately divided about minority rights and Quebec independence. They'd never seen the world through each other's eyes. They were arrogant, hurt, compassionate, intense Maclean's brought them all together for three days of conversation facilitated by a team from the Harvard Negotiation Project, led by Getting to Yes co-author Roger Fisher. Fisher framed it as "a discussion about mutual concerns and interests about the future of Canada." After two days of ideological battles and emotional upheavals, a breakthrough happened. A peacemaking woman from Ontario listened with real compassion to a very upset woman from Quebec, and they bonded. The next morning the Quebec woman, in turn, deeply heard the Native woman. A spirit of partnership blossomed and by the end of the last day, the group had agreed on a vision for Canada that advocated more mutual awareness, connectedness, and collaborative activity. Their agreement fills five of the (amazing) thirty-nine pages of coverage provided by Maclean's in their July 1, 1991 issue, entitled The People's Verdict. The event was also covered by a hour-- long Canadian TV documentary. - http://cointelligence.org/CIPol_EmpoweredDialogue.html As in the Michigan conference, harmonization enabled this group to break through their strong differences and find heartfelt common ground. In this case however the group was able to move forward from there and address difficult and substantial problems. Their consensus statement included recommendations on education, tourism, economics and trade, and many other issues. Furthermore, their written recommendations reveal a perspective that embraces the principles of harmonization as a means of resolving social issues. Here are two brief excerpts: Rather than trying to make binding decisions now on the precise shape of Canada's future, we work together to clarify the vision of a Canada in which all Canadians would feel fully accepted, at home and fairly treated, and with an appropriate balance between national concerns and local autonomy A vision of Canadians working together is not simply a matter of constitutional language. We suggest that Canadians devote substantial effort to the human dimension -- to understanding one another empathetically, to caring and sharing their concerns and ideas. And that they also work together to make the Canadian economy as prosperous and promising for the future as they can. On a base of human understanding and economic co-operation, constitutional questions will be far easier to resolve. We suggest that all three activities be pursued concurrently. -- http://www.co-intelligence.org/S-Canadaadvrsariesdream.html . [ continued in Part 2 ]